Thursday, March 15, 2012
Why Indeed?
Why Indeed?
Sitting in a restaurant
with women I hardly know
what to talk about is the question
and, of course, no one asks me
anything, so I sit there
in silence which feels weird to me.
I try to think of something
that we can discuss but
people either do not know
what I am talking about or
add three words so subject ends
Again there is silence
and I wonder whether others think
or if eating in a restaurant
is what it's all about and
talk doesn't matter at all.
Strange to me. I don't mind
eating in a restaurant by myself,
but if I am with people I like
to at least interact. Weirdo
that I am. And that is why I
truly prefer my own company.
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YES! Worse than silence is the one word answer! At least in Canada there is always the weather:) Nice day....'yep', looks like it might rain 'yep'. I wonder if spring is here to stay.'nope'
ReplyDeleteI find it very hard to initiate conversation without help. Bless your heart for giving it a try.
Soooo agree, my own company is way way better. Plus the cat likes to talk back, so I can converse if I wish. Others are just a pain, they either talk about stupid things, don't talk at all, or talk so much I want to slap them upside the head...haha
ReplyDeleteLol- I agree with Pat!
DeleteI really used to struggle with talking to people I didn't know so well, but over the years it's gotten so much easier. I think it was just a question of reminding myself that if I was so uncomfortable, chances were that the others were as well. A very well-written piece, you captured that awkwardness well.
ReplyDeleteThis has happened to me many times. Last time was lunch with a bunch from the Y. We had a huge long table and I wore myself out trying to get some conversation or common ground. I seemed the only one that wasn't satisfied just eating their lunch. What I have found in those situations is that I have to put in the time..give it more than one or three times to make a decision. Thankfully I moved and didn't have to give that group time. LOL
ReplyDeleteI wish you could have been at lunch with me and my friends today Mary. I know you would love all of them and find much to talk about with them. They are all smart and well read and fun. Each is considerably different in some respects, and yet compatible. We range in age from 55-75 and one is a man. Sorry your group wasn't a compatible one for you. I understand that feeling, not being able to connect, the small talk, the talk that gets dropped after a cursory response. Don't give up, though.
ReplyDeleteI love going to restaurants alone. Then this isn't an issue. :P
ReplyDelete~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com
Shall we find solace in being alone? Is there anything that can siruate us in our alienation from the world around us? provocative questions that your poem raises so clearly, so matter of factly. As someone who tries to understand being and nothingness, I find your poem exploring that territory where the lacknof something makes itself felt, gnawing at the edges of the real. Why not accept emptiness for what it is? This much I think your poem tells.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean, Mary. I'm either at a loss of what to say or if I do have something to offer someone else is monopolizing the entire situation. Good thing you had your granddaughter with you.
ReplyDeleteOh I so hear you. I live in an entire TOWN of people on a different wavelength. Why I love staying home and talking online with people like you:)
ReplyDeletesmiles...i agree. i would much rather interact...it feels rather sterile to be eating with others and not saying any thing...but in a large group it becomes easy to get lost...or in the light of strong personalities...
ReplyDeleteThis is the plight of those who move often and try to make new friends. There are many false starts, many re-buffs, which is so discouraging, but I kept trying and trying because that is also the way I have met my greatest friends..
ReplyDeleteTrue enough, Mary! It gets pretty boring when others choose not to converse. Worst if they respond in single words not showing any interest. It gets on your nerves!
ReplyDeleteHank
oh I know it all so well! ... loved reading this.
ReplyDeleteI do know what you are talking about Mary and have had that experience. However, one thing I learned as a newspaper reporter was that in general people like to talk about themselves and their experiences. The more specific to their personal lives the better. There are still those who only give one word answers. I try not to go out with those people any more. LOL You do describe the situation very well.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all: It IS a poem, because poem is life and life expressed (my definition). Second: I think it's a really good one. Third: Been there/done that! Hated it! Nothing worse than being with people who aren't really there at all!
ReplyDeletehttp://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/03/15/hes-aggravatin-2/
i hear you on the WP comment issues...as long as i use an email address not attached to WP account i am fine...will forward you a message i got from Bren yesterday on a possible fix...
ReplyDeletePoor you. The difficulty hereabouts, eg on my sewing afternoons, is getting a word in edgeways. Frenchwomen loooove to chat! Your poem expresses your discomfort very well.
ReplyDeleteThat's not being weirdo. Been there, done that. And there's nothing wrong with liking your own company.
ReplyDeletehate those moments... give me a piece of paper and pen
ReplyDeleteNothing needed, and nothing to take away. Perhaps it is a poem...
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, Mary. I've been there, done that. Only now am I beginning to learn not to accept invitations that don't work for me. You are not alone in this!
ReplyDeletefrustrations in communication prompt isolation. it makes sense. you bet i feel the same way you do. some people like to be on common ground, some don't even know what common ground is. i occasionally hang out with guys who have totally opposite political views than me. we talk sports, mostly, but usually throw in some politics or social issues becuz it's inevitable. but it works with them. it doesn't work with others. victoria is right. you don't need to do this round table again.
ReplyDeletei regularly have groups from around the world, visiting our company and i sometimes take them out for dinner.. that's also not always easy to keep the conversation going...esp. when they're from different corners of the world...but if you manage, it's really rewarding and interesting... but not always easy to find that key... yeah...can imagine how weird it feels if you try hard and the conversation is just nothing more than yes or no or not even that..ugh...
ReplyDeleteI think it basically boils down to having nothing in common with the women you were with Mary. It's so awful being 'there' and yet feeling mostly invisible though. I would have felt the same as you did too.
ReplyDeleteExcellent poem, Mary (and I do think it definitely is a poem!) I can relate to this feeling. and yes, you and Mya could have had a much more stimulating conversation. If this happens again, there's always "...oops, look at the time..."
ReplyDelete