One

ONE

Only one day before I fly
time moves so quickly
but yet it crawls
so much to do to
get ready to fly such
a distance, to stay
so long. It will be my
longest flight ever,
to Singapore, and we
will cruise beyond. It
will be so exciting
to see the many exotic
places I'd never dreamed
of seeing before this year.

Through This Life

Through This Life

Through this life I traveled
one day at a time, one year
at a time. When I was young
the days and years didn't matter
too much. There would always
be more, and the difference
between one year and another
was basically imperceptible.

But when I reached thirty I
began to take note. Where
was I headed now that I
was no longer young? Lots
of soul searching in those
years, one day at a time,
one year at a time.

I feared fifty, but my fifties
were the happiest years of my life,
years for me, to enjoy, to savor,
amazing days, amazing years.
And now the 60's, hoping for
the best, years of creaitivity,
travel, new goals, new friends,
keeping the old, moving forward
one day at a time, one year
at a time, never looking back

Acceptance

Acceptance

People come in many sizes,
shapes. Some are tall,
some short, some thin,
some fat. God loves them
all the way they are. So
should I....... and you.

Thanksgiving Thankfulness

Thanksgiving Thankfulness

I am thankful
most of the time
for most everything
I have. I remind
myself as often as
necessary that life
is a blessing, but
only the foundation
for other blessings
which follow day
after day, year
after year.

Hot and Cold

Hot and Cold #1 and #2

#1

I love heat, hate cold,
always take a jacket
into a restaurant
in summer. Just in
case. Too warm
is fine with me, but
when cold I can think
of little besides how
to get warm!

#2

She is an unmelting ice block,
without a shred of caring,
love, or compassion.
Her mouth is frozen, smileless,
her eyes hardened in icy stare.
Dressed in shimmery silver, she
is hard in her unbending stance.
She brings shudders to
all in her range and shivers
to those that feel her touch.

Everybody Says

Everybody Says

Everybody says just wait and see,
don't worry until you have something
to worry about, everything is going
to be okay.

Everybody says they will say prayers.
I will pray too. But, damn, it is hard to
wait for the results, to know what
I must pray for.

Everybody says one day at a time,
and I try to think that way. I try to
be optimistic, but I cannot lose
the fear. Help me.

Everybody means well, that I know,
everybody wants it to be okay,
no cancer, nothing serious, that
I do know. Me too.

Nobody knows what another needs.
Oftentimes a person doesn't
know herself. Perhaps
to listen is enough.

Nobody knows my prayers to God.
Do you hear them, God?
I implore you, God, to make
everything right one more time?

Noise

Noise

I'd choose noise any day over silence.
Give me the noise of people talking
television blaring, radio squawking,
dogs barking, children playing,
baby crying, anything rather than
total stillness, which makes me feel
crazy inside, except sometimes
in the early morning hours when I sit
with my cup of coffee and attend to
my computer savoring my time of
reflection, contemplation before
the busy day begins.

Ambulance

Ambulance

Ambulance
red light circles
siren blares, signals
other vehicles to let
it pass. Who is being
transported to the
hospital? Will she
be okay? I say a
silent prayer as the
ambulance passes,
remember that one
time it was me inside.

Life After Sixty

Life after Sixty

One has to invent
a new way to live
one cannot depend on past
to sustain future
one has to begin anew
with fresh dreams,
possibilities abound
if one looks.

And Then

And Then

And then suddenly
it was evening, amazing how
quickly the day passed.
I awoke with many things to do,
optimistic, felt all was possible.
I drank my coffee in the early
hours, savored morning, my
favorite time of day. Felt relaxed,
fresh, time was abundant,
unrushed. Everything in due
time, would be accomplished.
But then, in a blink of the eye,
it was evening. Where had the
day gone? I accomplished,
but not all I wanted to, but
tomorrow will be another day

To Not Attach

To Not Attach

I don't want to attach anymore.
Everything is impermanent,
will eventually leave. Sometimes
now I wish I had fewer things,
would like to give things away
to someone of the next generation

would who enjoy, treasure, act
as caretaker. Stamp collection,
coins, electric train, doll house,
dolls, German steins, nut crackers,
silverware, dishes, postcards.
I remember when my aunt gave

away treasures one cup at a time.
I own some cups from her collection,
but where are they now? Valuable
to me once, now somewhere to
rediscover sometime when I pass
things to someone who might care.

What should I do with keepsakes?
Sad to contemplate, but realistic.
It is an honor to be caretaker, but
also a burden. I wonder if it is best
to walk through life unencumbered,
to collect nothing but memories and

photographs and to write poems
along the way. Beauty, love, health,
friendships, possessions do not last.
Life itself on earth is temporary. Even
I will eventually leave.

SLOW

Slow

days pass slow
when I am worried
and want to know
the answer and pray
all will be okay.
don't like waiting
worrying, but I
have no choice.
I wonder if I worry
more than her.
Most likely.

Does it Matter?

Does it Matter?

Does it really matter
if destruction or death
comes by implosion
or explosion? I don't
think so, do you?

Above The Clouds

Above the Clouds

I cannot see above the clouds
today, but I know that above the
clouds it is always clear and one
can always see the sun. If only
I would be above the clouds today,
the sun seems so elusive.

Above the Clouds

Above the Clouds

I cannot see above the clouds
today, but I know that above the
clouds it is always clear and one
can always see the sun. If only
I would be above the clouds today,
the sun seems so elusive.

Hanging

#1

Hang on to me, and I will hang on to you.
Though the path may be steep and rugged,
together we will find our way. First, you
lead; then let me. We CAN find our way
together. And we WILL.

#2

Hanging onto dreams is better
than letting them fly away. At least
there is good to contemplate
when all is dark within and without.
With no dreams, the furies shriek,
flap their wings, disrupt the night
Bring on dreams and restful sleep.

Not Yet

Not Yet

Lined face, hands, wrinkles,
lose hanging skin, muscles
that sag, force me to recognize
I am no longer young. Some
might, horrors, call me old,
on the downward slope
of life; it is hard to believe life has
passed this fast, brought me
to this point I do not want to be..
In my mind I am young, vibrant,
future ahead of me.When I walk the
treadmill at the Y, I am energized,
upbeat, feel I could walk hours and
then hours more. I hide my head
in the sand, I know it It is an
illusion, a game some of us
may play as long as we can. We
fight what will eventually win. Our
lined, wrinkled bodies will give in
and slow down, step off he treadmill,
kiss the illusion of youth good-bye.
But not today or tomorrow. Not yet.
Old age can wait.

Finally

Finally

The human spirit is renewable.
Even when I am the most tired
and downhearted I realize that
tomorrow will be another chance,
a fresh slate, new page, uncharted
ground, one more opportunity for
me to finally get it right.

If Only

If Only

I say to myself so often, If only,
but it doesn't happen, and I
try to resign myself to the
fact that it most likely never

will. I worry, pray for good
solutions, often wish I could
set the course. I don't
understand why everything

is always so hard. I wish
I could just have today be
enough, that I could just
hug the kids, love them,

laugh with them and let
tomorrow take care of itself.
If only I could have faith
that it would.

Construction

Construction

I hope to build something
good in my life, something
positive with my being, and
to leave a lasting legacy

of caring among those
who knew me well. And
selfishly I want to be
remembered, not forgotten

or overlooked. I hope
someday that it will be
known and appreciated
just all that I brought about,

bought, and built. I wish
I did not care, was selfless,
but I recognize I am not
totally selfless at all

but I hope to build something
good in my life, will hope to
be remembered as good but
truly you can never trust memory.

Overworked Topic

Overworked Topic

Sometimes there is nothing
more to say about a subject
or nothing more one wants to say
anyway, like trying to write about
old news. It is hard to contemplate
what would give the subject a new
perspective, a slant that hadn't
been used before. The subject
tires me, and, damn it, I can't
imagine I am the only one who
feels this way about the
overworked topic of love.

Slippery

Slippery

Slippery roads are dangerous
especially at night with the
glare of the lights. But the
slippery slope is even more
dangerous than the slippery
road as once choose it,
by inventing tales and telling
lies and forcing smiles until
you choke fromyour own deceit
it is one thing after another
as life unravels beneath
your feet and sucks the
dignity you had hoped to
preserve and you scream
as you pray for a way out
of the inner darkness back
into the truth of light

The Shoulds

The Shoulds

Should I rake leaves or
take my dog for a walk?
Should I organize the kitchen
or write a poem?
Should I grocery shop
or read a book?
The choice between what I
should do and what I want
to do is often difficult.
And whatever choice I make
feels half good and half bad.
I wish there were more
hours in the day, especially
to take my dog for a walk.

Reflections on Plant Life

Reflections on Plant Life

I always said that if I were in the hospital
I might prefer a book to read over a bouquet
of flowers as the flowers would fade away
and die, something I would prefer not to.

but then again sometime it is nice to
be surrounded by the beauty of flowers
even if it is only temporary beauty
to enjoy for a few moments, days.

Life itself is fleeting like the beauty
of flowers, with its savored moments
of joy and loveliness, essence
that can inhaled but never captured.

Unable to Cover

Unable to Cover

Sometimes i wish i could cover my emotions
and not wear my heart on my sleeve but
I am not good with this at all. What I feel
people can see, and if I am angry or hurt
sometimes it is better for me to leave than
to sit there and cry or say things I will
regret. I know a lot of people are able
to cover their emotions, to smile no matter
what, but I an not one of them.

Growing

Growing

Most every young girl wants to grow up
to be older than she is today, imagines how
wonderful it would be to have a job, be
independent, be free of parental rules.
At a certain point in life this changes
and each person realizes that with
the passing of each year one grows
older and eventually grows old and
whatever platitudes one expresses
and however wonderful one tries to
present aging there truly are very
few redeeming qualities in growing

Maybe

Maybe

Maybe eventually I will get over it. Maybe not.
Sometimes I wish I were more thick skinned
or able to just turn the other cheek, say slap me
one more time. I can take it. Then slap me again
with everyone as witness. Feel victorious, you
who sought to wound me, your words were daggers,
well planned blows. It is what you desired. I
am not a fighter, never have been, will just walk
away, unmissed as you babble on to your
appreciative audience. Who will be next?

Negative / Positive

Negative

Negative is easier than positive
these days it seems I have
no time for positive, with its
words appear contrived,
just chugging along, put
one foot ahead of another,
try not to think at all.

Positive

Oh what a beautiful day
to be alive. I am so excited
to face the day, do not know
what the day will bring but
know it will be unique as
all days are but please
forgive me for not enjoying
it fully as I am exhausted,
look forward to early rest
and hope I can sleep.

Please

Wikimedia Commons

Please

I know you don't want me,
that you regret my existance,
are embarrassed by me,
wish I didn't live but I do live
and you made it happen.
And you can't undo your action.

Don't you know I have your genes,
no small thing as I am part of you,
but if you are sure you don't want me
someone else has been praying
to have someone like me. Someone
will love me, and I will love them.

I haven't lived yet, want to see
what life is all about, to breathe
and see and hear and think;
maybe I can make a difference
One person can, you know.
Let me live, I implore you.

Please.

This is shared with dVerse Open Link.

A New Year

(prompt - entering something new)


A New Year

I enter a new year of life
hard to believe I am this old;
I can remember turning ten.

The decades have made me
grandmother, uncharted ground,
someone considered old;

but I still feel young, wear
my blue jeans, flashy Nikes,
forget my age unless

I look in the mirror. Wrinkles
shock me sometime. Who
is that with greying hair?

I argue with the calendar
still feel like a teen, almost
immortal, that I have decades

yet to enjoy rich days.
At least I can hope
calendar age is superficial.

I enter a new year optimistic
that this one will be even
better than the last.