Masks

Masks

I never liked masks, deceptions. I never
really got into Halloween or costume parties.
Even today I know I would not enjoy pretending
to be someone else or using a mask to hide
my true self. Masks have never been fun for me.

The Pleasure of Coming Home

The Pleasure of Coming Home

I love coming home, even if I have been gone only
an hour. I love coming home, Diane greeting me,
the dogs greeting me as if I am someone special.
I love my house, my living room, my family room,
my bed, everything familiar, comforting, warm.
It is nice to go away for a while, but going away
pales beside the pleasure of coming home.

The Pleasure of Nothing Useful

The Pleasure of Doing Nothing Useful

I am so used to trying to do something useful
every moment of the day. So many things to
do, so many shoulds. I seldom find time to do
something truly unuseful, so many useful things
to do, except if it is playingLexulous, a pleasure
not useful at all, accomplishing nothing, a selfish
escape which feels so good!

The Pleasure of Not Beiing Perfect

The Pleasure of Not Being Perfect

I must learn to forgive myself for not being perfect
and I also hope that those that know me will
forgive me for not being perfect. I have high
standards for myself and often beat myself up
for not meeting them. Typical Virgo. Not enough
hours in the day to do all I wish to do. And I
often fail to do what I wish I could do. I must
learn to take pleasure in not being perfect.
I really hope I can.

The Pleasure of Being Foolish

The Pleasure of Being Foolish

Foolish to believe someone will change
it might happen sometime, just mightt,
but basically one has to understand
and find a way to live with the reality
that people do not change. Amen.

What I do Not Always Throw Back

What I Do Not Always Throw Back

Sometimes I don't throw back
what she needs to be responsible
for, and sometimes I cut her too
much slack, but sometimes I do
this for the kids' sake even though
they do not know, and I wonder
sometimes if they will ever know
that it was me who made the
difference.

Things to Throw Back

Things to Throw Back

Angry words, failures real or imagined,
broken promises, broken dreams,
worries, fears of tomorrow, self
condemnation, bitterness, sadness
about what might have been,
disallusionments, sadness, fear
of tomorrow and the next day
and the day after that, negatives,
doubts, anguish, blame, all
of these things I throw back.