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| Student Artwork - Scholastic Competition |
Secrets
What secrets he has he keeps
what fears he has he hides
he admits nothing
to no one never
he swaggers through life
a peacock who won't confess
even to himself
that he feels alone
or that at night in the dark
he cries.
This is written for Anthony at dVerse for his prompt 'confessions' at Poetics.
I like the rhythm and how the line ends make us pause. I also find that the absence of context suggests he could be a stranger but also someone we know. The painting is agreat complement to your words, Mary.
ReplyDeleteooh I love this Mary! How many right now act like they have everything together, but in the dark, they're a complete mess? more than there should be...
ReplyDeleteheartbreaking...that we have to keep up the images
ReplyDeleteeven to ourselves...how heavy that must be to carry...
you have found some real inspiration in that art
competition too...
Oh this is poignant, Mary. Poor man.
ReplyDeleteProfound - secrets poison relationships AND diminish all hope of happiness for those who hide away with their secrets - behind a swaggering facade.
ReplyDeletethe burden of secret takes a heavy toll...great lines Mary....
ReplyDeleteMay be he thinks that a man should never cry or be weak:(
ReplyDeleteit's sad when we're to proud to admit it - even to ourselves... i do hope he finds the strength to be honest with himself one day soon before he breaks...
ReplyDeleteThat shell we hide behind is a hard and tough.. The risk of breaking rather than showing the strength to be weak.. Very sad.
ReplyDeletewhat a painful situation...No one can sustain it long
ReplyDeleteSome people like to keep all inside when really they should let it flow
ReplyDeleteWe put some heavy burdens on men in our society that lead to this.
ReplyDeletenot good to bury things... i liked how you ended it
ReplyDeleteThis is my new favorite, Mary. Thinking about that stiff uppr lip and whether, unknown to us, it has a place to unburden that doesn't say suck it up!
ReplyDeleteThis is wonderful and relatable. We all carry around some secrets and fears that we don't want anybody else to know. You've beautifully and succinctly penned the duality. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteSome secrets are heavy to carry and hide inside us, and yet it is his choice to do so ~
ReplyDeleteHave a good day Mary ~
Grace
At least he cries, knowing he is hiding. So many hide from their hiding. We all know this person. sometimes, this person was us at one time. Kanzesakura
ReplyDeleteWhat a heavy weight to carry, but one that too many do carry for far too long and all alone! Written so poignantly!
ReplyDeletethis is excellent...the machismo swagger of a man to alone and afraid to admit it.
ReplyDeleteI think I know some people like that. Short but packs quite a punch.
ReplyDeleteBullies are mostly cowards, heroes are just desperate survivors; what we are, & what we present to the world; who we see in the mirror, or at two in the morning as moon reflection in the window--vastly different visages.
ReplyDeletePeacock was a great metaphor here and the lack of awareness adept. A wonderful take on the prompt!
ReplyDelete...but no peacock has so little self-assurance. True to life, for some. Boys masquerading as men.
ReplyDeleteInteresting, Mary - enjoyed rhyme scheme....
ReplyDeleteThe painting does give a feeling of detachment, of someone a bit lost but pretending to be strong. I can easily relate your words to the artwork. I really like that connection.
ReplyDeleteI have held many secrets for a long time....as I let them go..I felt free.
ReplyDeleteThis brings out my mama-nurturing heart big time and causes me to think of my children who'll be teens and young adults...someday. Emotive work, Mary.
ReplyDeletenice - I used to be very afraid of night - I read many years later it was a thing called night terrors. You might have a typo in a "he he" replication.
ReplyDeleteMary - this is such a moving poem - makes me think of all the kids out there that are too scared to show their true selves and real feelings - beautifully written
ReplyDeleteMary, you have really touched a chord of sadness with this one. I sometimes cry in the darkness at night.
ReplyDeleteAdded with that painting, the words - they just pull you. I want to reach out to him, give him a hug. You pulled that heartstring, but good.
ReplyDeleteA peacock who won't confess. I think someone like that. The external is all show. As if tears require shame. Good write Mary.
ReplyDeleteThis was a simple yet heart-wrenching. I took the metaphor for many situations and it fit really well!
ReplyDelete~Prajakta
Truly.. a well painted portrayal of the quintessential American Male.. too afraid to live and not brave enough to cry...
ReplyDeleteWhat a truly sad existence. Nicely captured. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteOh, that's such a sad secret. Your words ring with truth, Mary.
ReplyDeleteYou write to a familiar image I can so relate. The reference & connection to peacock is quite appropriate knowing its characteristics to be noble looking & the strutting gesture that intimidates, who knows the sadness it keeps before a thousand applauding eyes. Lovely & succinct!
ReplyDelete- ksm