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| Vampire - Edvard Munch - 1895 |
Vampire
She is a woman all despise
her malice shines from her cruel eyes
by light of moon her eyes do glare
so much evil in her stare, a hateful guise.
What a seductress she can be
deceiver dressed as bourgeoisie
who uses all her artful wiles
with furtive flare and foxy guile, debauchery.
This is my attempt at a florette, which is the form Gayle will introduce at dVerse MTB today!
Oh. .this is exquisite.. and I still wonder if she is not a lonely woman in reality. The rhymes and rhythm is perfect.. so well done to the form
ReplyDeleteHave to avoid her at all costs, me and my neck lol
ReplyDeleteWow, a new form AND a vampire! She sounds like the shell of a woman, cold - those glittering eyes! So well described, I can see her.
ReplyDeleteWhat a woman & I would avoid her at all cost as she is deceitful as well ~ Well done with the form Mary ~
ReplyDeleteAnother bitch succubus with fangs; as a kid it was the female vampires that frightened me, as they weaved maternal wiles added to seductive tricks; then at 16, I said to hell with it, just bite me already; nice use of the form.
ReplyDeleteYikes! Very clever, Mary. (She reminds me of a boss I had once). :0) I love the 2nd line, 2nd stanza.
ReplyDeleteI love it, Mary...truly wonderful. And loved your description of your vampire woman...well done!
ReplyDeleteExcellent Florette. You've made me quite despise her and we've never even met. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteSuch a captivating poem.. so beautifully done! I m especially drawn to the image of the vampire indulged in debauchery. *Shudders*
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Sanaa
Nicely done, Mary. Clever to use Bourgeoisie to rhyme..... you obviously had fun with this form, too.
ReplyDeleteGreat use of the form Mary..so nicely done.
ReplyDeletehaha - this made me smile..those vampires are not to be trusted.
ReplyDeleteSome very unexpected rhymes there - nice experimentation with the form and the rhyming!
ReplyDeleteYowzer! Reminds me of the last boss I had - sneaky and murderous. I truly like the different rhymes and how this form led you into a totally different take than anyone else.
ReplyDeleteGreat work. I love the imagery. You made this form look easy.
ReplyDeleteThis was your success at writing a florette! Yay!
ReplyDeleteShe is a woman all despise
ReplyDeleteher malice shines from her cruel eyes
Perfect vampire, Mary! Better not to mess around with such seductress with evil designs.
Hank
Interesting contrast between the two stanzas...the first shows her with malice, and an evil look...but the second shows her as being quite the seductress. Interesting how one can truly have both aspects. Well done!
ReplyDeleteGreat florette, Mary! Not a woman to be acquainted with. She makes me think of the women Björn sometimes portrays in his poems.
ReplyDeleteLove the awesome cadence this form achieves ... somewhat chant-like ... perhaps the preamble to a spell on the wicked creature. Very cool!
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