This poem is a wordle written for We Write Poetry just for fun.
Birthday
Birthday
unexplainable circle of sorrow
thick as glacial ice
drought drained her demeanor
she felt bad, almost mad
nervous
obsessed
one less year to live
one year closer to death.
it would be over soon.
Alone
she struck a match
lit the birthday candle
looked into the flame
saw her future flare
engulfed by a carbon sea.
Birthday
unexplainable circle of sorrow
thick as glacial ice
drought drained her demeanor
she felt bad, almost mad
nervous
obsessed
one less year to live
one year closer to death.
it would be over soon.
Alone
she struck a match
lit the birthday candle
looked into the flame
saw her future flare
engulfed by a carbon sea.
This poem fits the way I feel at summer solstice, the forces of death beginning to take charge of the wheel of seasons again I think you did a really good job of using the random words of the wordle to write a strong and painful poem with serious meaning. TEchnically, wow for using all thos ewords withoug forcing anything.
ReplyDeleteI like how you set "Birthday" and "Alone" at the beginning of your stanzas on their own respective lines. They played off of each other and made the poem deeper. A strong take on those Wordle words!
ReplyDeleteMary, Aw, the sorrow of birthdays keeps rising in this week's poems. The solitude your character faces rises to the reader. You've illuminated the sadness of time's passage for the lonesome soul. Great wordling!
ReplyDeleteThis poem certainly evoked an emotional response. Imaginative use of the words.
ReplyDeleteWow, Mary, you are becoming a wordle expert! This one really hangs together well and none of the words seem a stretch at all. I had not thought about the sadness of birthdays but this really says it will.
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ReplyDeletePowerful poem. I am speechless.
ReplyDeleteThe ending is surprising. Thoughts on a birthday and it rings true.
ReplyDeleteMary I love this and the last stanza is so powerful!
ReplyDeletePamela
That last image really strikes the right chord. A very poignant use of the wordle.
ReplyDeletegood wordle
ReplyDeleteI like the first half best, the sounds work well "nervous obsessed one less year one year closer" That has such inevitability you hardly need the next line.
Birthdays are supposed to be a big 'ol ball of celebration, but really, as each one comes faster, not so much. They become a time to assess our place in life, and realize it's shorter than it was since last assessment.
ReplyDeleteSuper use of all those wordle words, Mary...bam! bam! bam!
- Dina
What a haunting poem, Mary. I will read this one a few more times. Your wording and form really caught and kept my attention. Great work!
ReplyDeletei like this "alone" b-day celebration... sometimes it's just that way... and there ain't nothing wrong with that...
ReplyDeleteI agree, haunting, overwashed with melancholy like watercolor, mostly due to your placement and use of the words. The image that sticks with me is "looked into the flame/ saw her future flare / engulfed by a carbon sea". Brilliant and beautiful.
ReplyDelete-Nicole